How to work it out
They say that arguing is not only inevitable, but healthy in a relationship, if you do it right though. The definition of arguing is "to give reasons in support of an idea with the aim of persuading another person to share our point of view". Yet in the society when we hear this word, we immediately think of raised voices, hurt feelings, pent up aggression and offense.
One of the first things we need to accept is that having different opinions is rather good actually. In order to make a relationship flourish, you need to input your feelings and opinions. Everybody wants to feel that their opinion is cherished and respected, and if you disagree, another person has to understand and give you space for that. Still, when an argument happens you have to be aware of the basic rules of a respectful argument.
First of all, be respectful of the other person's point of view. It is perfectly acceptable to disagree with the point being made, but for the argument to be effective, you must communicate rather than do the battle.
Think carefully of what you are saying and the tone you use. The calmer you stay, the longer you can go without offensive words and raising the temperature of the conversation.
You should choose the appropriate time. As simple as it sounds, but still a lot of couples start arguing late at night, when they are tired and can easily get mad or when their second half is hurrying somewhere. Take a deep breath and think if the game is worth a candle.
Choose the appropriate place. Never quarrel at your parents' house, at a party, in font of friends etc. Arguing is an intimate thing that should help a couple resolve some misunderstandings. If you do it in public, you will not do any good to your friends or your soul mate.
Keep it short and simple. There are particular gender differences in the way our brains work. And if a woman can take hours to get to the essence of the problem, a man needs a couple of minutes and several brief sentences. The point is – be exact if you want to be heard.
The last but not the least is to strengthen the bond of your relationship after the fight has ended. Don't be ashamed to say "Thank you for listening" or just give each other a hug. Do anything that reminds you both of why you are together in the first place.
